The importance of being a friend

This is sort of long but it is a valuable message that I felt deserved to be posted. The Gospel Doctrine lesson on Sunday was taken from Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. There were a lot of topics available for the instructors to choose from. One choice was about friendship, but it probably wasn’t taught just because of time restraints. I want to share one quote that impressed me: Elder Marvin J. Ashton said: “Someone has said, ‘A friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am.’ Accepting this as one definition of the word, may I quickly suggest that we are something less than a real friend if we leave a person the same way we find him. … “No greater reward can come to any of us as we serve than a sincere ‘Thank you for being my friend.’ When those who need assistance find their way back through and with us, it is friendship in action. When the weak are made strong and the strong stronger through our lives, friendship is real. If a man can be judged by his friends, he can also be measured by their heights. … “Yes, a friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1972, 32, 35; or Ensign, Jan. 1973, 41, 43). It really doesn’t take a lot of time or energy to be someone’s friend. And it means so much to them. Several months ago, I mentioned some of my heroes. One was a woman named Nancy Zarate who is an American expatriate living in our temple district. She is a little bit rough around the edges and sort of loud so I’m guessing she has put people off and not had lots of close friends. I think she is amazing because she gives away everything to bless the lives of others and barely squeaks by with her own basic needs. She comes to the temple every week and spends two days and nights here. But she didn’t come the two weeks before the break nor the two weeks after the break. So with the break she was gone for almost 7 weeks. I know she has a heart condition and I became really worried about her. I didn’t know if she was even alive at this point. The temple recorder helped me get the phone number of one of the bishops (I had the wrong ward, but oh well). We called and talked to Bishop’s wife and she said she had seen her at the market that morning and she appeared to be OK. I was relieved. Last week she returned to the temple. While she was in the temple I slipped a note under her door her in the Annex. Something along the lines of “How dare you disappear for 7 weeks and not tell anyone. I have been so worried about you. I even called the bishop’s wife of Patezite ward…. “ She came back over to the temple that evening while I was working. She found me and said, “I cried when I found your note. I didn’t know if anyone even noticed or cared that I was gone. I have been really, really sick. But I’m getting better.” She shared more along the same lines. Then before she left the next day she found me again and said, “I will keep your note forever. I don’t think anyone has ever done anything nicer than that for me.” Wow! I had no idea that expressing my love and concern would touch her to the inner core like that. It made me determined to be a better friend. This is a picture of my friend Nancy. This same week I’ve had two different experiences that I want to record—not to draw attention to me, but to the importance of being a friend. I’ve mentioned my friend Vilma Salguero. She is a wonderful resource to me because she understands a lot of English and speaks slowly in Spanish for my benefit. When we were getting ready to start our shift last week, she said that she felt like we were friends in the pre-existence and that it is great blessing that we found each other again in this life. I was so touched by her kind words. I told her “Yeah, it would have been even better if we were born into families who spoke the same language!” She laughed and agreed. A couple of nights later several of us were working the laundry and Hermana Lupe Agustin told Hermana Socop that I was her best friend—I told Hna. Socop that I pay Lupe to say that. But then Vilma interrupted and said, that it wasn’t true anyway, because in reality, I was her best friend, not Lupe’s. It was all said in fun, and we were all laughing, but it made me realize, once again, how much these Latin sisters appreciate my efforts to take the time to communicate with them and show interest in their lives. They even appreciate the fact that I wear a lot of “tipico” clothes from Guatemala. They feel like I’m one of them—even though I’m a giant and make them slow down and even then I miss some of the conversations. They appreciate my efforts. They are always full of compliments. The new trend is to notice my eyes. Lupe’s son, daughter-in-law and daughter visited last week. I went up to the apartment to have a chance to visit with them. What great people. I guess after I left they all started talking about how striking to color of my eyes was… Jorge teased his wife by saying it was a good thing I wasn’t younger and that he wish he had contacts the color of my eyes. To me it is just amusing, because my eye color is so very common at home. But you know what? Their offer of friendship and compliments to me, has made me pay more attention to using subtle make-up appropriately to look my best. The friendships I’ve developed here have truly blessed my life—and I think I’ve blessed theirs. It is so awesome that so many scriptures on friendship were available last week. We have great examples from the scriptures, most notably, Jonathan and David (who Aunt Dode related to Vicki Jo and me). But the most valuable are those in the NT and D & C where the Savior referred to others as His friends. I hope to live my life so that I am counted as a friend to Christ. Here are Vilma and Lupe--not a very flattering picture of any of us, but that's OK--this is about friendship, not good looks!